reasons to die

 

stubbing my toe, serial murderers, “more than words” by extreme,

being sent to fat camp, Trowell service station,

getting a life sentence for a crime you didn’t commit,

single sex schools, personalised number plates, liver,

feeling suicidal, adolf hitler, Christian rock,

Cliff Richard’s “Mistletoe and Wine”, the chuckle brothers, people who wear socks with their name on them, politics, being buried alive, pork pies, Gary Neville’s ‘tache

waking up in the middle of an operation, darts,

pub bands playing reggae , Sanskrit tattoos, wasps,

being immersed in miasma, rhubarb, the future,

wearing a hawaiian shirt when you’re severely depressed,

“H” from Steps, double-barrelled names, bling,

blokes with beards with no moustache, Kenny G,

slippers with headlights on them, the electric chair,

the words to “Life” by Des’ree, , Teeside,

blokes with perms, waking up, stretch limos,

people who think Michael Flatley’s of some use to humanity, offal,

Cliff Richard’s ‘Millenium Prayer’, mowing the lawn, oysters,

the black death, having a healthy limb amputated by mistake,

rio ferdinand’s hairstyle, smooth jazz, , Daily Mail,

dogs with tartan coats, off milk, south african accents,

fat men who pull their trousers up to their nipples,

going for a jog, adults who get dressed up as babies…